Toy Story (1995)
Tim Allen: Buzz Lightyear
Buzz : [Woody, scared, walks backwards and he gets startled by Buzz. Buzz keeps talking to his "mission log"] And according to my navi-computer, the...
Woody : [whispers] SHUT UP! Just shut up, you idiot!
Buzz : Sheriff, this is no time to panic.
Woody : This is a perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move to their new house in two days, and it's all your fault!
Buzz : My fault? If you hadn't pushed me out of the window in the first place...
Woody : Oh, yeah? Well, if *you* hadn't shown up with your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me...
Buzz : Don't talk to me about importance! Because of *you*, the future of this entire universe is in jeopardy!
Woody : What? What are you talkin' about?
Buzz : Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet! I alone have information that reveals this weapon's only weakness. And *you*, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!
Woody : [pauses, then screams] YOU - ARE - A... *TOY*! You aren't the real Buzz Lightyear! You're a... aw, you're - you're an action figure!
[holds hand up to eyes indicating something small]
Woody : You are a child's play thing!
Buzz : You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
Buzz : [waves in military fashion] Farewell.
[starts to walk away]
Woody : Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, ya loony!
Woody : [walks off grumbling] Rendezvous with Star Command.
Woody : [Whispering to Buzz from inside the Milk-crate, which he can't get out of since Sid placed a Toolbox ontop of it] Psst! Hey Buzz!
[No response, Woody throws a washer against Buzz' visor. Buzz slowly looks over]
Woody : Hey! Get over here and see if you can get this toolbox off me!
[Buzz looks away]
Woody : Oh, come on Buzz. I can't do this without you. I need your help.
Buzz : I can't help. I can't help anyone.
Woody : Why sure you can Buzz. You can get me out of here and then I'll get that rocket off you, and we'll make a break for Andy's House.
Buzz : Andy's house. Sid's house. What's the difference?
Woody : Buzz, you've had a big fall. You must not be thinking clearly!
Buzz : No, Woody. For the first time, I *am* thinking clearly. You were right all along. I'm not a Space Ranger. I'm just a toy. A stupid, little, insignificant toy.
Woody : Wait a minute. Being a toy is a lot better than being a Space Ranger.
Buzz : Yeah, right.
Woody : Not, it is!
[Points through the Window to Andy's Room]
Woody : Look, over there in that house is a kid who thinks you are the greatest, and it's not because you're a Space Ranger, pal, it's because you're a toy. You are his toy!
Buzz : [Buzz looks at his Plastic Parts and Fake Control Panel] But why would Andy want me?
Woody : [sighs] Why would Andy want you? Look at you! You're a Buzz Lightyear! Any other toy would give up his moving parts just to be you. You've got wings, you glow in the dark, you talk, your helmet does that... that whoosh thing. You're a Cool Toy. As a matter of fact, you're too cool. I mean - what chance does a toy like me have against a Buzz Lightyear action figure. All I can do is this.
[Pulls his Pull String]
Woody : [Voice box] There's a Snake in my Boot!
Woody : Why would Andy ever wanna play me me, when he's got you? I'm the one that should be strapped to that rocket.
[Woody leans against the milk-crate, and Buzz looks at the sole of his foot with Andy's Name printed on. He glances back at Woody with a look of determination across his face from the Words Woody gave to him]
Rex : Mr. Lightyear, now I'm curious... what does a space ranger actually do?
Woody : He's not a space ran-*ger*! He doesn't fight evil or, or... shoot lasers or fly.
Buzz : Excuse me.
Buzz : [Buzz deploys his wings; all exclaim in excitement]
Hamm : Wow. Impressive wingspan. Very good.
Woody : Oh, what? What? These are plastic. He can't fly.
Buzz : They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I *can* fly.
Woody : No, you can't.
Buzz : [scoffs] Yes, I can.
Woody : Can't.
Buzz : Can.
Woody : Can't, can't, ca-an't!
Buzz : I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!
Woody : Okay, Mr. Lightbeer, prove it.
Buzz : All right then, I will.
Buzz : To infinity, and beyond!
Buzz : What's going on?
Woody : Nothing that concerns you space man, just us toys.
Buzz : I'd better have a look anyway.
[he looks through Lenny the binoculars]
Buzz : Why is that soldier strapped to an explosive device?
Woody : [moves Lenny] That's why. Sid.
Buzz : [seeing a dog] Sure is a hairy fella...
Woody : [re-moving the binoculars] No, no, that's Scud, you idiot. *That* is Sid.
Buzz : [Sid is laughing maniacally] You mean that happy child?
Mr. Potato Head : That ain't no happy child!
Rex : He tortures toys - just for fun!
Woody : [Running towards Buzz in a Mocking sort of Manner] Oh Buzz! Buzz Lightyear! Thank Goodness! We've Got Trouble!
Buzz : Trouble? Trouble where?
Woody : Down there. A helpless toy is trapped, Buzz!
Buzz : On it!
[Buzz jumps over to the Side of the Desk, while Woody sneaks over to RC's Remote, waking him up, and aiming him directly at Buzz]
Buzz : I don't see anything!
Woody : Oh he's there, just keep looking.
[Woody sends RC driving towards Buzz. Buzz jumps out of the way, and RC crashes into the pin-up Board in the corner, knocking all the pins down around Buzz. The board crashes down into Andy's Globe, knocking it loose, rolling towards Buzz]
Woody : [Buzz jumps out of the globe's way, onto the Windowsill, but the Globe strikes Andy's Folding-Arm Desk Lamp. It spins over Woody, who ducks out of the way, and hits Buzz, sending him flying out the window]
Woody : Buzz!
[Buzz flies into the Bushes nearby and disappears]
Slinky Dog : [the Rest of Andy's Toys gather round] I don't see him in the driveway. I think he bounced into Sid's Yard.
[Woody gulps and backs away from the window after what happened]
Woody : [thinks Buzz has gone crazy] I think you've had enough tea for today. Let's get you out of here Buzz...
Buzz : Don't you get it?
[points to a doll's hat on his head]
Buzz : You see the hat? I am Mrs. Nesbitt!
Woody : Snap out of it, Buzz!
[opens Buzz's visor, slaps Buzz across the face with his detached arm, then closes the visor]
Buzz : [calmly] I-I-I... you're right. I'm sorry, I am just a little depressed, that's all. I can get through this.
[breaks down again]
Buzz : Oh, I'm a sham!
Woody : Buzz? Buzz Lightyear? You're not worried, are you?
Buzz : Me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Are you?
[camera pans out]
Woody : Now Buzz, what could Andy possibly get that is worse than you?
Andy : [from downstairs] Oh, oh, what is it? What is it? Wow, a puppy!
[camera zooms back in]
Woody : [Feeling miserable for what he'd done, lying on the seat of Andy's Car] How am I gonna convince those guys it was an accident?
[Woody spots Buzz up at the Sunroof, staring down at him]
Woody : Buzz!
[Buzz leaps down onto the seat right next to Woody, furious, covered in leaves and twigs]
Woody : Buzz! You're alive! This is great! I'm saved! Andy will find you here, he'll take us back to the room, and then you can tell everyone that this was all this all just a Big Mistake. Huh?
[Buzz glares at him, speechless]
Woody : Right? Buddy?
Buzz : I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
Woody : Oh. Well, that's good.
Buzz : But we're not on my planet, are we?
Woody : No. Daaaah-oof!
[Buzz attacks Woody, knocking them both out of the open car door]
Woody : Okay, come on. You want a piece of me?
[Buzz punches Woody in the face, having it spin around for a brief momemt, then he gets knocked down by Woody, Woody hits his face a few times with a squeaking sound until he closes his visor on Woody's hand]
Woody : Ow!
Buzz : [Through his button speakers whilst as Woody attacks him] Buzz, Buzz, Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue.
Andy's Mom : [Andy and his Mum just re-enter the car] Next stop...
Andy : Pizza Planet! Yeah!
[Woody and Buzz stop fighting and pause]
Woody : Andy!
[Andy and his Mum drive off as Woody and Buzz watch in horror, leaving them behind at the Gas Station]
Woody : [Walks away from Buzz, and pauses] He doesn't realise I'm not there?
[Sulking out loud]
Woody : I'm lost! I'm a lost toy!
Buzz : Terrain seems a bit unstable. No readout yet if the air is breathable. And there seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere...
Woody : [sneaks up on Buzz] Hello-o-o!
Buzz : HO-YAH!
[Woody screams. Buzz fires his "laser" at Woody]
Woody : Hey hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Did I frighten you? Didn't mean to. Sorry. Howdy. My name... is Woody... and this... is Andy's room. That's all I wanted to say. And also, there has been a bit of a mix-up. This is my spot, see... the bed here.
Buzz : [sees Woody's "Sheriff" star badge] Local law enforcement! It's about time you got here. I'm Buzz Lightyear, Space Ranger, Universe Protection Unit. My ship has crash-landed here by mistake.
Woody : Yes, it is a mistake, because, you see, the bed here is my spot.
Buzz : I need to repair my turbo boosters. Are you still using fossil fuels, or have you discovered crystallic fusion?
Woody : Well, let's see, we got double-A's.
Woody : Listen, Lightsnack. You stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me.
Buzz : What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip?
[slides under his ship with a skateboard]
Woody : [pulls him back out] And another thing, *stop* with this *spaceman* thing! It's getting on my nerves.
Buzz : Are you saying you want to lodge a complaint with Star Command?
Woody : Oh-ho! O-okay, ooh, well, so you wanna do it the hard way, huh?
Buzz : [gets out from under his ship] Don't even think about it, cowboy.
Woody : Oh yeah, tough guy?
[Pushes Buzz' round red button and opens his visor. Buzz chokes the "Toxic Air" around him. Woody looks around, unsure how to react]
Buzz : [sniffs] The air isn't toxic?
[gets up and points accusingly at Woody]
Buzz : How dare you open my visor on an uncharted planet! My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!
[closes his visor]
Woody : [after Buzz thinks that the air is toxic] You actually think you're THE Buzz Lightyear? Oh, all this time I thought it was an act!
[to the room]
Woody : Hey, guys, look! It's the *real* Buzz Lightyear!
Buzz : You're mocking me, aren't you?
Woody : Oh no, no no no, no...
[suddenly points behind Buzz]
Woody : BUZZ, LOOK! AN ALIEN!
Buzz : [looks] Where?
[Woody keels over with hoarse laughter]
Woody : [From inside the milk-crate] Listen Buzz, forget about me. You should get outta here while you can.
[Woody looks over to see that Buzz has disappeared. Suddenly the milk-crate he's in begins to shake. He notices Buzz trying to push the toolbox off]
Woody : Buzz! What are you doing? I thought you were...
Buzz : Come on, Sheriff. There's a kid in that house who needs us. Now let's get you out of this thing.
[Both Woody and Buzz push against the milk-crate, which budges very slowly. As the sun rises, Woody and Buzz notice the Moving Man pull into Andy's Driveway]
Buzz : Woody! It's the Moving Van!
Woody : We've gotta get out of here, now!
[Buzz manages to push the milk-crate for enough to the Edge of the Desk for Woody to hop out of, and onto the floor, but Buzz doesn't notice]
Woody : Buzz! Hey, I'm out!
Buzz : [Continuing to push the crate] Almost there!
[the toolbox and the milk-crate fall off the desk, and land right ontop of Woody]
Buzz : [Noticing Sid still asleep, then runs to the Edge of the Desk] Woody! Are you alright?
Woody : [Lifting up the Toolbox that fell ontop of him] I'm fine... I'm OK.
[Sid's Alarm Clock rings, as Woody hides back under the milk-crate]
Sid Phillips : [Waking up] Oh yeah! Time for lift off!
[Sid grabs Buzz and runs out the door. Woody tries to run after Sid, only to find his Dog, Scud, right outside, who runs out at Woody, only to be shut out just in time]
Buzz : [about Sid] I don't believe that man's ever been to medical school!
Buzz : Years of Academy training wasted.
Woody : [after RC's batteries die after as Woody and Buzz chase after the Moving Van] Great!
Buzz : [Buzz drops RC's Remote, and looks at Woody's Side Pocket] Woody! The Rocket!
Woody : The Match! Yes! Thankyou, Sid!
[Woody lights the match against the road, only for a car to drive over them, blowing it out]
Woody : [Sulking to the ground] No! No, no, no, no, noooooo!
[the Sunlight streams through Buzz' visor, acting just like Sid's Magnifying Glass from earlier, leaving a tiny white-hot dot shining at the back of Woody's hand. This gives him an idea]
Buzz : [as Woody grabs onto Buzz' visor] What are you doing?
Woody : Hold still Buzz!
[Woody places his hot hand against the fuse of the Rocket, lighting it up successfully, and hops back onto RC with Buzz]
Buzz : You did it! Next stop, Andy!
Woody : Wait a minute. I just lit a Rocket. Rockets explode!
[the Rocket lights up, sending Woody, Buzz and RC racing up fast towards the Moving Van]
Woody : [mocking Buzz as they split-up] "Rendezvous with Star Command."
[sees a delivery truck with a "Pizza Planet" logo on it]
Woody : Pizza Planet?
Woody : Andy! Oh, no! I can't show my face in that room without Buzz.
[yelling to Buzz]
Woody : Buzz! Buzz, come back!
Buzz : [walking out from under the truck, annoyed] Go away!
Woody : No! Buzz, you gotta come back! I...
[Woody looks at the Pizza Planet delivery truck, and notices a miniture spaceship on the top]
Woody : [calling] I found a spaceship!
[Buzz stops and looks at the delivery truck]
Woody : [calling] It's a spaceship, Buzz!
Buzz : [as the driver asks for directions] Now, you're sure this space freighter will return to its point of origin once it jettisons its food supply?
Woody : [nodding his head] Uh-huh. And when we get there, we'll find a way to transport you home.
Buzz : Well, then, let's climb aboard.
[Buzz runs towards the truck]
Woody : No, no, no, wait, Buzz! Buzz! Let's get in the back. No one will see us there.
Buzz : Negative. There are no restraining harnesses in the cargo area. We'll be much safer in the cockpit.
[Buzz climbs through the open window and jumps into the seat]
Woody : [whispering] Yeah, bu... Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!
[the Pizza Planet truck's engine starts, Woody climbs into the back, and sees Buzz attaching a seat belt]
Woody : It's safer in the cockpit than the cargo bay. What an idiot.
[the Pizza Planet truck moves forwards sharply, Woody is tossed and thrown by the extreme motion of the truck as it speeds down the road and up a hill. Items start in the back of the truck start to tumble towards Woody, one of them being a heavy tool box]